The rain...

Dancing in the rain feeling no pain. Emotions stewing, panic brewing gracefully moving. Thinking about my life and what's in store. Memories flowing, will I hit the floor? I smile, I frown, I swim, I drown. Back and forth I go. It's an easy flow. My hair is wet, feeling regret. Pushing it aside again I glide. This moment is strange, deranged, but it's mine to claim. I feel no shame. I am here!

Coming alive...

We sleep, we wake. We all make mistakes it's just the way life goes, all unknown. Resistance, doubt, taking chances, living proud. Sometimes selfish it's true. We all deserve it so we don't come unglued, cause if we do it's quite the mess hard to clean up heartbreak and distress. I've gone that far allowed it, it's clearly my fault. Putting me back together is tougher than I thought. Piece by piece I'm coming to order, I feel the relief. My book is revised, no more betrayal, no more lies. I'm coming alive. We all change just like the seasons. We grow this I know. I'm not the same, and not ashamed. I must forgive, but I'll never forget. This life I've had and the many regrets. I will bloom. I will be free flying high without misery. One day at a time for I cannot rewind. Only move closer to that special person I am deep within. The one that's been hidden. Lost in the darkness. I see the light. It's in the distance. Step by step I'll get there without fright. It can be touched, tasted, smelled...a sudden exhale. A relief, a love, a singing bird, a rose bud. This all makes perfect sense to me, because I'm finding myself you see. I'm different and beautiful inside and out, and this I say proud!

Me...

Death rings, insanity screams. Judgement and fear, an angel is near. Natures beauty. Love and faith, we all have our special place. Children cry, people die. Tragedy and laughter, here thereafter. Thoughts of many, emotions of plenty. Some sour, some sweet...mostly discreet. Life and color, judge no other. Spring and fall, together we crawl. I've shouted, I've lied, I've been denied. Coming clean is a difficult scene. Discovering who you truly are is like the brightest shooting star. I'm almost there.

Change

Some things we do are right, a lot of wrong. Never regret anything that made you strong. If it put a smile on your face, then it can't be replaced. We are who we are today. Tomorrow may be different. Don't hate because we change. Open your mind to the newness that is gained. It can't always be good. Mostly misunderstood. That's a part of life. A part of growing. The basic logic of not knowing. Take a breath, think about it. If you truly love someone you won't doubt it. Embrace, believe, forgive, it's a relief. Our days are shorter than we think, so watch how you speak and blink. Life passes quickly with hate in our hearts, don't make that mistake. Just make a new start. Nothing wrong with being who you are, and if you don't know don't worry. It'll come, maybe just not in a hurry!

This life we live

Tattered, abused, more than used. Here comes the blues. Not meaning the sky. This I won't deny. The sun is shining bright upon my eyes. It's difficult to see the light when you are living a lie. Put on the fake smile. Words of encouragement, it's all bullshit. The darkness seeps through. My body bleeds blue. Who am I? Will I ever figure it out? My doubts are playing free and about. I pray to God give me an answer. One that won't end in disaster. Meaningless things sing loud, actually it screams proud. My soul inside, something I can't hide makes me cry, proves I'm alive. I pinch myself just so I know this nonsense I'm living is out of control. For God has said "this too shall pass" therefore I know it won't last. His words win in the end. I'll be awaiting!

Old friends

Wreckage in the making. Disaster unfolding. A trampled mess that cannot progress. Burning desire deep within, pain that eases through my skin. A heart that yearns to be unbroken, never spoken. Forever silent, it isn't golden. Words with no escape, a touch that will not take place. I cry out quietly, I adore you. 

Train wreck

Discriminated, hated, totally invaded, sometimes sedated. Here we go again. Where do I begin? Sipping on sin, it should be gin. Crashing thoughts, lessons taught, I stand distraught in this craziness I've fought. Failure in disguise. Will I arise? Amazingly surprised by this train wreck revised. I see colors differently. My enemies complete me. My soul is empty. This cold mold of myself untold. This fucking life I will survive. Wait and see the mystery of me.